Mothering

What is a homemaker? Simply put, it is "One who manages a household, especially as one's main daily activity."

I'm often asked what I do, and get various responses when I say "homemaker". Many people in our society envision that as a demeaning job that wastes or suppresses the talents of women. I highly disagree. Most of you probably do too. I can hear them asking the same questions; how can you handle being stuck with all those kids; surely changing diapers and wiping snotty noses is not what you want to do with your life; there is no way you can claim that you are happy doing house work and cleaning up after so many little kids; don't you feel trapped; aren't you bored; wouldn't you like a real job where you are recognized for all of your hard work; why stay home when you can have a career and kids; and many more.....

No, I can't say that I really enjoy a lot of the responsibilities that come with being a homemaker. But I also can't say that they make me unhappy either. Yes, I get frustrated, tired, and drained by the demands that caring for a home and family requires of me. But as I conquer one challenge after another I can see how it is making me a better person. There are few jobs out there that could teach me what being a wife, mother, and home manager has taught me. I have to face myself every day. There are constant choices that need to be made. In order to feel like I am living my life, and not merely surviving it, I must find a healthy balance in all aspects of my life. I'm not always successful with this, but I try.

The life I have chosen for myself makes me happy because I know that I am doing the most important work I was sent to this earth to do. I often lose sight of that, but ultimately I work my way out of the gloom and get busy living my life again. Surviving life is not enough for me, I want to live it. Being a mother to is not all bad. Many people can't see that. It's not easy, there is a lot of responsibility, and it requires a huge amount of unselfishness. Our society at large is all about doing what takes the least amount of effort, taking no responsibility for your actions, and self gratification. That's not what makes me happy at all, so no wonder I've chosen this life for myself.

You may wonder what I fill my days with... The basics of my day is to make sure everyone is clean, fed, and not bored. The clean part is hard because there is the diapers (and leaks) and toilet training (and mistakes) and always making sure there is a bathroom nearby for little bladders. The feeding part is hard because there are picky eaters, those who never stop eating, and the huge mess on both child, chair, table, and floor that follows. Entertaining the kids in their various ages and interests is near impossible to keep them from being bored. Bored kids fight, get hurt, talk your ear off; then they stop listening to you when you ask them to stop fighting, hurting each other, and talking your ear off. Busy kids are usually happy kids, and happy kids usually mean happy mothers. Ultimately physical, intellectual, spiritual, and mental progression is the goal for the day for both myself and my children. All of the mundane and messy tasks throughout the day are just part of the journey.

There are rewards for being a homemaker. I have more time in my home to try and create an environment where my husband and children can be comfortable and find peace from the outside world. I am rewarded with lots of hugs, kisses, and an honest "I love you". Belly laughs, big smiles, soft touches, and innocent curiosity fill my day. There are plenty of teaching moments where I am able to study and learn so that I can pass that knowledge to my children. If I manage my time well I can find an hour here and there to read, edit my websites, and relax with a movie with my husband. He works just as hard as I do, so this is a good way for us to unwind at the end of a busy day.

One of my greatest joys in being a homemaker is having a husband who values what I do. His approval is not what I am talking about, but his positive support and encouragement. Often I may feel that I failed only to find that my husband sees my supposed failure as a triumph, or at the very least a valiant effort. This really helps give me a boost when I may otherwise be disheartened.

As time passes I can see where I've been, where I am, and where I would like to go. I have a lot of work to do, but it's a good work, and it's God's work.

I truly believe that being "just a mother" is the most noble vocation a woman can attain. It's nothing to be ashamed of when I write "homemaker" on the employment section of the many various documents I've filled out. Between pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, attending to the needs of an infant, baby, toddler, preschooler, and child; it's a constant challenge for just about anyone to live through it all in a manner that is balanced well for both mother and child (not to mention for the spouse and siblings). I've had my struggles with this balance ever since I became pregnant with my first child in 1998. Throughout each stage of being a mother I have had to learn how to think and act differently as my environment changed, both inside and out. There are no certainties in mothering, just a lot of changes and experiences to learn from. What I hope to do with this area of my site is to share the resources that have helped me get through the past several years as a mother. I'll only include what I found most helpful so that your time is well spent. I'll also include some of my personal thoughts and experiences.

The first bit of advice I would give to anyone new to the whole mothering idea, whether pregnant yet or not, would be to visit AskDrSears.com. With the Sears family you will find the answers to just about any of your questions on mothering. If you can't, then go ahead and ask them, they'll answer. When I first discovered Dr. Sears I was pregnant with my first child. Most everything I read in their various books made sense to me and encouraged me to do what I felt was right for me and my growing family. With that said, feel free to browse the five areas of mothering that I have chosen to highlight below....

Page Last Updated - Friday, July 13, 2007 1:01 PM