Words That Matter

“It is the duty of a husband to love, cherish, and nourish his wife, and cleave unto her and none else; he ought to honor her as himself, and he ought to regard her feelings with tenderness, for she is his flesh, and his bone, designed to be an help unto him, both in temporal, and spiritual things; one into whose bosom he can pour all his complaints without reserve, who is willing (being designed) to take part of his burden, to soothe and encourage his feelings by her gentle voice. Is is the place of the man, to stand at the head of his family, and be lord of his own house, not to rule over his wife as a tyrant, neither as one who is fearful or jealous that his wife will get out of her place, and prevent him from exercising his authority. It is his duty to be a man of God (for a man of God is a man of wisdom,) ready at all times to obtain from the scriptures, the revelations, and from on high, such instructions as are necessary for the edification, and salvation of his household. - And on the other hand, it is the duty of the wife, to be in subjection to her husband at all times, not as a servant, neither as one who fears a tyrant, or a master, but as one, who, in meekness, and the love of God, regards the laws and institutions of Heaven, looks up to her husband for edification and comfort.” - Elders’ Journal, August 1838

Though there are a great many valuable things here, the one that really struck me at the time was the part about “pour all his complaints without reserve” and how my wife “who is willing (being designed) to take part of his burden, to soothe and encourage his feelings by her gentle voice”. I have never before thought of my wife as “being designed” to do these things.

There have been times in my life when negative things would happen that I did not want to share with my wife because I did not want to add to her burden or overly concern her. When I have done this, I have found the load to be very heavy to carry and the issues difficult to deal with. On the other hand, I have also found that when I would talk to my wife about the issue and “pour all his complaints without reserve” that in every instance she has taken it far better than I expected, carried the burden with me with greater ease than I expected, and provided great soothing to me by her wise comments and actions in regards to the issue. I have found that at such times I can carry the burden with far greater ease, much less stress, and the answers I need from God flow much more freely.
When I share all of my concerns and complaints with my wife as instructed here by the prophet I find my marriage much stronger and fulfilling for it. I am extremely grateful for my wonderful wife and the great gift God has given me in her.

“For a man to be great, he must not dwell on the small things, though he may enjoy them.” - (HC 5:298)

How often have we in our private thoughts aspired to greatness, to be more than we are? Joseph’s simple yet inspired words here ring with a truth that can not be denied. To accomplish or achieve anything we must first have the thought, the idea. From there it is necessary that we determine a course of action and act upon it. It is impossible to do these things if we do not think (dwell) upon them. How many hours of the day do we fill with useless thoughts that will never lead us to greatness? Contemplation of our petty feuds, the wrongs we have received, the pursuit of our idle past times such as some new TV series, a game we enjoy, and other such things will never lead us to greatness.

Before pursuing Joseph’s advice though, we much each determine for ourselves what is “Great” for us. Do we desire Greatness as a husband or wife? Let us dwell on our spouse and how we can show our love for them. Do we desire Greatness as a Mother or a Father? Let us dwell on our children and how we may help them. Do we desire Greatness as a servant of God? Let us dwell on our prayers, our scripture study, our church meetings, our responsibilities as given us by God - with a certainty He will show us the way.

God has made it abundantly clear the Greatness He would have us to achieve. Shall we dwell on it so that we may accomplish it, or do we find our thoughts more in demand elsewhere?

“It is our duty to concentrate all our influence to make popular that which is sound and good, and unpopular that which is unsound. ‘Tis right, politically, for a man who has influence to use it, as well as for a man who has no influence to use his. From henceforth I will maintain all the influence I can get.” - (Joseph Smith - HC 5:286)

Sounds like marching orders for any would be politicians. Sounds like marching orders for the rest of us too…