Daniel's Birth Story

Things kind of started a month before my actual due date. At my 36 week appointment on November 15th with my midwife, Maggie, I found out that I was 25-50% effaced and 1-2 cm dilated with the baby well engaged. That was quite the shocker! My tummy measured 33cm at this time as well. Maggie felt for the position of the baby and found him to be completely posterior, much like his sister was. I wasn't crazy about the thought of another back labor, so we discussed ways to try and turn the baby. One method that has worked with some is to assume the hands and knees position. I tried to do this for a period of time just about every day. Unfortunately it never did work.

On Sunday, the 19th, I spoke briefly with Judy, one of our assistants for the birth (she also assisted with Kailey's birth). She's studying to become a homeopath and suggested that I could possibly take a remedy that would help turn the baby. She mentioned that the only problem would be that it may cause me to go into labor as well. At the time I would have loved to, but declined because we really wanted to have our mothers there for the birth. I told her that as soon as they both arrived I would take her up on the offer.

A week went by with nothing more than the usual Braxton Hicks contractions and overall pregnancy discomforts. On Monday the 27th, I felt a bit crampy in the back and belly, along with some sharp vaginal pains. I had a feeling that my body was working to dilate and efface more. I was anxious to see what progress I had made at my next appointment. Typically Maggie only does the one internal exam at 36 weeks and none again until labor. But since I had my mother due to show up that Saturday and Gene's mother the following Thursday, I felt that if I had progressed a substantial amount then I could prepare them for the disappointment of possibly missing the birth.

At my 38th week appointment on the 29th we were all pleasantly surprised to find out I was 50% effaced and a "roomy" 3 cm dilated. It was a great feeling to know that I was making so much progress with very little effort. I was still measuring small at 33cm, but everything looked and sounded good, so we weren't concerned. I spoke with our mothers and told them the news. They both were surprised as well, but still had hopes of making the birth.

On Thursday, the 30th, I thought for sure I was going into labor. I had cramps in my back and belly throughout the day, along with sharp vaginal pains that felt as if my cervix was dilating. On top of this I was losing my mucous plug and had a general "off" feeling. I called my midwife to explain what I was feeling physically, but more-so emotionally. I was SO ready to have the baby, but still felt that it would be best to wait until our mothers arrived. Maggie mentioned that the physical exam may have triggered labor and to let her know if I showed any of the "signs" of more active labor. Maggie got a bit concerned because she still hadn't picked up the birthing pool from her last delivery and knew that I wanted the water as a form of pain relief, as well as a possible birthing place. I told her that it wasn't a big deal and that I probably wouldn't go into labor anyway. We all figured that since I was 2 weeks late with Kailey that I would be either on time, or late with this child as well. Being the great midwife that she is, Maggie called me a short time later and said that she had the pool. She had to drive close to an hour one way just to get it. I thanked her and secretly hoped that I would deliver soon, even without our mothers there. I was just so emotional and physically uncomfortable I was only thinking of having the baby as soon as possible. I went to bed that night quite drained. I never did go into labor.

The days passed with nothing much going on physically. My mother arrived the 2nd of December. On the 5th I had an uneventful appointment with Maggie. I chose not to be checked this time. I was just so uncomfortable the thought made me cringe. I could barely tie my shoes because my belly was so low, so getting undressed and dressed any more than necessary wasn't my idea of fun. I measured at 34cm at this 39 week appointment. The baby was still posterior, so I continued the hands and knees routine. A few days later my mother-in-law arrived. The pressure was off to NOT go into labor, so we all started getting anxious for the big event.

The weekend that I was due I had frequent Braxton Hicks contractions. On the 10th, my due date, I had Judy check my ankles at church. They were swollen a bit so I wanted to make sure everything was fine. She said it was nothing to be concerned about, just go home and rest. When we got home we started looking into reflexology. A lady at church mentioned that her chiropractor knew about certain pressure points used to cause uterine contractions, which could stimulate labor. By the time I found the info I needed it was getting late and I didn't want to start labor right before I went to bed like I did with Kailey. We never did try it.

The evening of the 11th I started having regular contractions. I was timing them at every 10 minutes for 2 hours. I decided to go to bed just in case I was starting labor. I didn't tell anyone but Gene because I didn't know if this was a false alarm. I didn't sleep well that night. When I woke the next morning I was still having the contractions every 10 minutes. I was also having those sharp vaginal pains. I let our mothers know what was going on then since I'm sure they would have noticed me checking the clock. When I called Maggie about them it had been about 12 hours of contractions at 10 minutes apart. She told me to watch for any additional "signs" of active labor and more frequent contractions. Unfortunately they slowed down and eventually went away.

My 40th week appointment on the 13th of December showed that my body had been working despite not going into active labor. I was 4cm and 50% effaced. My belly measured at 36cm, I think. Maggie offered to do a cervical massage as she checked me. She could tell that I was physically and emotionally worn out with my lack of sleep and continued discomfort the larger, and lower, I got. I was carrying really low and everyone kept joking that if I dropped any more that the baby would just fall out. That was at 36 weeks, and I had dropped even more since then, thus proving everyone wrong. Anyway…. I told her to go ahead. I had my membranes stripped with Kailey as well and didn't feel anything but a tugging sensation. This was no different. I had a bloody show and went home hoping things would get started. I had a day of menstrual-like cramping from my back to belly. I did a lot of hands and knees positioning to try and turn my still posterior baby. I didn't bother timing the contractions thinking I would know if they were getting close enough to count. I also started losing more of my mucous plug. I spent the day with the cramps and loss of plug, but by the time night came I knew nothing was going to happen. The cramps had ended leaving me with just losing my plug a little at a time.

The next few days went by with me worrying about when this baby would come in relation to how long my mother would be here to help me with Kailey once the baby arrived. I was also concerned about having the baby at Christmas. I didn't want anyone to lose time with their family while they assisted me. Needless to say, I really wanted to have the baby soon, even to the point I was thinking about doing the "natural" induction I did with Kailey. Since the thought of doing that again was very unappealing, I held out. On the 15th I was still losing my plug and had a very vivid baby dream. In this dream I saw the little dark-haired baby boy I had dreamt of previously. I got upset and asked God why He would tease me with such a dream at a time when I needed comfort, not a reminder of what I didn't have, yet. Soon after these thoughts I had one really strong contraction at 5:21am. I took that as a sign to stop murmuring.

On the 16th I called Judy about bringing the homeopathic remedy to church the next day. She agreed to. The baby was still posterior and I was getting desperate to turn him. One thing I noticed on that day was that I had loosened up and stopped worrying about when I would go into labor and how I would handle Kailey without the help I thought I would have. I guess part of me knew I would soon have my baby.

My contractions started again at 4:15am on Sunday, the 17th. They were every 10 minutes just like the last time, so I didn't get my hopes up. I found the contractions uncomfortable lying on my side, so I propped myself up in a semi sitting position. I gave up trying to sleep and got up around 7:30am. I told everyone what was going on and decided not to go to church. I called Judy and let her know what was going on so that she could decide what to do about going to church herself since she lives so far away. She decided to stay home. I called Maggie soon after. Since I was having regular contractions and a bloody show we decided that I was in early labor. I was told to drink plenty of water, get plenty of rest, and eat good foods. I could feel discomfort in my back during the contractions and worried about not turning the baby before active labor started. My mother offered to go get the remedy from Judy. I called Judy back and she said that was a great idea, but that perhaps I should come get it with Gene. She joked that the bumpy roads to her house may help my contractions pick up again since they were spacing out a bit. We decided to go for it.

During the trip to Judy's my contractions were a bit uncomfortable. I did the driving, so Gene kept asking if he should take over. I felt fine and didn't feel that they inhibited my driving capability at all. If anything, driving kept my mind off from them. Once there Judy felt for the position of the baby to make sure he was still posterior. She also offered to do an exam to see if I was dilating and effacing any more. I declined. She gave me the remedy right then with instructions to go rest. I took a nap as soon as we arrived back home. When I woke my contractions were still coming and lasting 50-60 seconds. This continued on with the sensations in my belly and back still. I was afraid that the baby would never turn.

At 9:00pm I called Maggie to update her on my progress. I was having to stop during contractions because they were becoming much more intense, but still no closer than 10 minutes apart. She instructed me to go to bed and sleep as much as I could. Gene decided to join me so that he also would be rested for the birth. Our mother's were up watching a movie, too excited to sleep. Not long after I called Maggie I was informed that Maggie's assistant, Belinda, was on her way since she lived about an hour away. She wanted to make sure she arrived in time for the birth. She never did make it. On her way to our house she was called away to another home. Maggie had another client go into labor as I did. This made the rest of the evening a bit crazy.

At 11:00pm my contractions started coming every five minutes, finally! I called Maggie at midnight to let her know. She said she'd be over within the hour since I had started active labor. By this time we were all really excited. I let Gene sleep right up until Maggie arrived. I didn't want him getting sick like last time, so I figured the more sleep he got the better off he would be. I simply sat on the couch and waited for Maggie to arrive. At this time I couldn't believe how easy my contractions were to handle compared to how things were with my first labor. I kept thinking that it was going to start getting really painful any time now. But they never really did. So when Maggie arrived we were all in good spirits and in awe as to how smoothly the labor was going. In Maggie's words, "When I arrived she was sitting on her couch in her living room not bothered by the bustle of her mother and mother-in-law. It was a bitter cold night, so I brought all my equipment and supplies in right away so it would not freeze." At this point I woke Gene up and he was kind of surprised to see Maggie there and wondered what it was that he had been sleeping through. I explained to him the progress I was making. He couldn't believe it.

Once all was set up we were ready to see just how much I had progressed during all of this early and active labor since my last prenatal. Again, in Maggie's words, "Crystal was 8 cm when I checked her at 12:40. I called Judy and told her to come right away." We were all shocked and amazed at my progress. A far cry from my first labor. I'm not sure exactly how to explain my contractions. They were intense, but not painful. I would sit silently through them at the edge of the bed or while standing as I went back and forth to the bathroom. I was drinking plenty of water and feeling as if I needed to have a bowel movement. This wasn't indicating a need to push, I really did need to have a bowel movement since I was mildly constipated. When I finally found relief I was much more comfortable. Maggie suggested that I sit on the birthing stool to encourage my cervix to open up. I did this for a while. We had called Lisa, our friend who was to watch Kailey for us during the birth. When she arrived I was on the stool and she was kind of amazed at my quiet withdrawal as I had a contraction. I didn't need any assistance at this point. I just breathed slow and steady through the contractions as they came.

At 2:00am I was checked again and was found to be at 9cm with a bulging bag of waters. Maggie suggested that I do some squats during the contractions to encourage them to break. This is when the contractions picked up their intensity and I started feeling increased back discomfort. As I squatted I swayed back and forth while making a deep moaning noise. Periodically someone would press on my back to try and relieve the discomfort. It helped a little, but not much. I was thinking that it would have been nice to be in water at this point. I know that Judy had arrived around this time as well. She and Maggie were discussing how I was handling the contractions and started comparing me to the Amish women they had delivered. I had to laugh at that. In between contractions I was joking and laughing with the rest of them. Gene kept asking if he could do anything for me. I really was fine on my own so he sat back and watched and conversed with the rest of them.

When Maggie checked me at 9cm she offered to break the bag of waters. At that time I declined. I had forgotten about the offer until Judy started joking with Maggie about how this could be over within half an hour if my waters would break. Maggie told Judy she already offered and it was against her policy to keep offering since she didn't want to push something I didn't want to do. I looked up and said, "Let's do it." In Maggie's words, "…at 3 AM Crystal agreed to have me break her waters so that she could meet her new baby sooner rather than later. At that point she was 10 cm dilated." I stayed on the bed at this point, supported by tons of pillows. Maggie suggested that if I delivered sitting in bed she could help reduce the chance of me tearing better. That sounded good to me. Maggie continues, "She started developing an urge to push at 3:10 and was pushing hard at 3:22." This is when I started feeling pain in my lower back. It was horrible. I tried so hard to get comfortable but could not no matter how hard I tried. I decided then to try the birthing stool. Anything to relieve the pain in my back. This helped me get a grip on it a bit better, but I still was extremely uncomfortable. I just kept hoping and praying that the baby would turn soon. I didn't want to push a posterior baby out. I had a hard time releasing my body enough to let it push. I was a bit vocal at this time. It was hard for me not to be. I felt like I was working against myself instead of with my body. This was the worst part of the whole birth. Fortunately it didn't last very long.

As the baby was crowning I could feel the baby turning. It was the strangest feeling. It was a huge rotation compared to what I felt with Kailey. Finally, the baby decided to turn from posterior to anterior. A few more pushes got the head out. I had the burning sensation that is common at this time. It hurt, but not too bad. I saw Maggie checking out the baby and saying how it was a bit blue so that I should push as hard as I could to get the baby out. Robert Daniel was born at 3:40am on December 18th, 2000 into his father's and Maggie's hands, then placed quickly into my arms. Judy and Maggie rubbed him dry as he cried that newborn cry. My mother and Lisa stood holding each other, as my mother-in-law was taking digital pictures of the birth. Everyone was crying. It didn't take long for everyone to ask what the sex was. As I pulled the towel aside I knew what I would find. I had a boy. Gene kept saying, "I got my boy, I knew it was a boy…" We were all celebrating when I heard Kailey wake up. They brought her in to meet her baby brother. She seemed okay with him and kept saying "baby brother" as she pointed to him. It was a magical time for all.

I was brought to the bed for Gene to cut the cord and Judy to deliver the placenta. Maggie was trying to contact Belinda to see how her other client was doing while Judy was helping me. Judy also checked to see if I tore. I had a superficial 2nd degree tear. Daniel and I settled down to nurse at 4:02am. It felt so good to hold my baby after waiting so long for his arrival. Once he was finished he was measured and weighed at 21 inches and 8 pounds, 7 ounces. As he was being passed around and held I was brought to the bathroom to try and empty my bladder. I got faint and had to be carried back to the bed. We did this a few more times before I was able to go to and from the bathroom without feeling dizzy. Judy stayed and helped me during this time as well so that Maggie could go attend her other client. I continued to nurse Daniel as we both tried to get some rest. Everything had been cleaned up and we were all feeling the fatigue of the previous day and night. Looking back, I couldn't have asked for a better birth experience.

"Summer" Birth Story

The below comments were made in December 2002 or January 2003, soon after the miscarriage. At that time I refered to the baby as "it" instead of "she". I do not prefer that, but I did not want to assume the sex of the child I carried at the time. I'm quite comfortable with referring to the baby as a girl now. Only time will tell....

Please Note: The story of the miscarriage may be too graphic for some. Read with care....

I'm really not sure how to begin this. Even though the story I have to tell is of a death, it's helped me to value and celebrate life even more.

I was in the final days of my eighth week of my third pregnancy when I started to have a little brown spotting. It lasted two days, on the third day (the start of my ninth week of pregnancy) I called my midwife and discussed the things I needed to look for concerning a miscarriage. I had no cramping and no red blood, so I thought I was okay at first. After a while I started thinking of how much this pregnancy was so different than my first two. I had absolutely no nausea, and my pregnancy symptoms as a whole were very week. I attributed this to my acupuncture treatments, but quickly rethought that belief once the bleeding started to get heavier.

I decided to call the back-up doctor my midwife referred me to. The nurse instructed me to come in as soon as I could and they'd do a trans vaginal ultrasound to check for a heartbeat. On the way there I had bright red bleeding. That's when I started worrying about a miscarriage. The nurse couldn't find a heartbeat, but did not want to proclaim anything since there was always a possibility I wasn't as far along as I thought. Personally, I had been charting my Basal Body Temperature every morning for almost a year and was quite sure when I conceived. I knew in my heart that my baby was dead and that it was only a matter of time before I would experience a miscarriage. The nurse did mention one possibility that I could be carrying twins and be losing one of them. I guess I never held onto that hope, but with twins in both of our family lines it was believable. The nurse sent us for the first of three blood tests for my HCG levels to make sure they were either going up or down.

Later that very day I felt inspired to ask Gene for a priesthood blessing. We both felt the Spirit and was comforted. I was promised that if I did have a miscarriage that it wouldn't be like a typical miscarriage. I would have little to no physical discomfort, and my recovery would be swift and without complications. I was promised peace and comfort for my loss, and was assured that I would have more children in the near future. After the blessing Gene and I talked about it. We both felt prepared for whatever would happen. I took a long nap immediately after and kept my activity level down, but I didn't feel impressed to lay in bed.

That evening as I was getting ready to retire for the night I was picking up a few items of clothing from the floor. As I stood up I could feel something pop out of me. I knew right then what had happened. I rushed to the bathroom and prepared myself for what I would find. At first there was nothing on my pad, but when I looked to see if anything was coming I noticed a bulging bag about to slide out of me. I was able to safely catch the sack without rupturing it with my pad. From there I collected the sack into a disposable cup I had waiting per request of the nurse. Once I stopped shaking from the shock of what just happened I raised the cup up to the light so that I could see what was in the sack. To my awe and wonder I met my tiny little baby fully enclosed and safely sleeping in the bag of waters that was its home. I could see the developing spine, eyes, arms, legs, hands and feet. From the pictures I have seen the baby looked like it was in it's eighth week of development. I strongly believe it had died and I had carried it an extra week. To my amazement I did not feel an overwhelming sense of loss. I had a wonderful peaceful feeling come upon me. I couldn't take my eyes off my tiny little baby.

After cleaning up and placing the cup on the counter, I came out of the bathroom to find Gene. I told him what had happened and he anxiously came to see our baby. We both talked about what happened and how we were feeling about it all. We both felt comforted and immediately wondered what we would do with our baby. The nurse wanted me to bring it to pathology, which we briefly considered. Ultimately we could not see why that was necessary and chose to create a memory box for the baby. One day when we have a home of our own we'll bury our third little miracle properly.

The miscarriage itself was physically easy. I had no cramping and only light bleeding. In just one week the bleeding stopped completely and I've felt fine ever since. Having my parents visiting at the time really made the difference. I had the constant help from my mother with the household chores and caring for the kids. As well as my father to help when needed. This has just shown me that God is in control and keeps His promises.

I have found that the most difficult time during the days following the miscarriage was telling others about it. Kailey has been one of the most difficult to tell since she doesn't quite understand why mommy doesn't have a baby in her tummy anymore. She keeps asking where the baby is. We tell her that it's back with God for a while. She then says repeatedly that she wants to hold the baby as we try and explain that that day won't come for a very long time. I think she finally understands that she won't see the baby since she hasn't asked for several days now. What this has shown me is that Kailey will be a lot more involved with the next baby we have than she was with her brother, Daniel. Daniel just turned two so he doesn't understand what's going on, but Kailey, now 4, has a better understanding. I'm not sure how long we'll wait to tell people about our next pregnancy. I'm not one to keep it hush, especially when I'm just so sick and tired it's painfully obvious something's up. It will also be hard to explain the change it will have on me to Kailey as well. But I fear that if I have another miscarriage it will really confuse her as to why we keep giving the babies back to God before she can see and hold them. Ultimately I feel that we'll know when to tell.

There have been a few rough moments when I ache for my summer baby, but ultimately I'm given the gift of the peace that was promised to me. I've learned a lot from this life lesson that will help me have a greater understanding of the gift of life given to us by God.

This ends my reflections on my third pregnancy, first miscarriage. I pray that I will never forget the life lessons I've had the opportunity to learn throughout this experience. I look forward to more lessons, I just hope they won't require such a loss, but will "go forward in faith" if that's what's asked of me

Owen's Birth Story

I thought waiting for Daniel’s birth was bad, waiting for Owen’s birth was even worse. Kailey was much easier to wait for since I had absolutely no signs of labor with her. It’s when I have many signs of labor when I get impatient. It’s nice to know that my body is doing a little preparation before the big event, but it wears on the nerves not knowing if “this is it”, or if you still have days, weeks, or even a month to go. Then you add the stress of trying to get your mother and mother-in-law in town for the birth when you really don’t know if you’ll have the baby early, on time, or late. There were a lot of stressful factors surrounding the birth of Owen, but the birth itself went quite well.

After several weeks of waiting for my many bouts of early labor to turn into active labor I finally decided enough was enough and chose to do an at home induction. There were many factors surrounding my choice that I won’t get into here. This portion of my birth story I want to focus on the actual birth and how wonderful it was, not the chaos that preceded it. If you’re interested in the whole story keep reading to the end. I have a record of my thoughts during the weeks before the birth recorded below. Now for the birth story itself….

It was around mid-morning on Wednesday, October 29th when I started the induction process. I endured the horrid castor oil mixture for the second time this pregnancy. Following the drink I had an appointment with my midwife, Maggie, to have yet another cervical massage. The good news was that it seemed the baby had finally turned from posterior to anterior. Yea! When I returned home I asked Gene to help me with the equally horrid full-bag enema. Once I felt comfortable again I decided that I should take a nap. The contractions had started so I had high hopes that this time things were going to work out and I would finally reach active labor.

When I awoke I started timing the contractions and decided that by about 2:30pm I was in active labor. I called Maggie and got the ball rolling to contact all of the people we had chosen to assist us during this birth. I’m not sure when everyone arrived since it’s been several months and my memory isn’t that great. What I do remember is that during my contractions I started to fear that things were going to get painful this time around. I was hoping for a pain free labor like I had with Daniel (up until pushing anyway), but these contractions took more of my concentration because of the moderate pain. It was still a breeze compared to my labor with Kailey, but not as comfortable as I wanted it to be.

Gene, Donna (my mother-in-law), and my Mom started to get things set up. I was right there with them since I felt fine in between contractions and only had to stop for some concentrated breathing during the contractions. My main job was to stay hydrated, so I was sipping on the water whenever I thought to between contractions. I tend to be a heavy bleeder, so I wanted to do my part to prepare my body for healing after the birth. During this time Maggie showed up and set her stuff up and coordinated our efforts to get things ready. At 3:45pm she examined me to see how far I had come, per my request. I was pleased to know that I was 8cm dilated. Soon after that is when the rest of our support people arrived.

Mary Ann was there to assist us with the kids and anything else we may have needed. My Dad ended up entertaining the kids in the living room during the birth so Mary Ann was able to attend the birth. Christy was there to assist Maggie with record keeping and to offer any support we may have needed with the kids. Angie was there as Maggie’s assistant and offered continued support to her and me during the labor. And of course there was Maggie, my midwife who had assisted my previous two births. With these four wonderful women and my family I was able to do the work I had to do in complete comfort and safety. I spent the majority of my labor talking and laughing with everyone as I sipped water and sat on the birthing ball. It was great!

At 5:50pm I requested my membranes to be ruptured. With my previous two births I did the same since I always seem to get stuck at 9cm with very little progress after that until they’re ruptured. I was tired and ready to meet my baby, so I asked for it to be done. Without that cushioning my contractions picked up in intensity. I could tell that my body was working hard to fully dilate and start pushing. There was light meconium in the fluids so we kept that in mind as I reached the pushing stage of my labor.

I hate pushing! It’s the hardest part for me. I had to convince myself that it would be over and to just get going. I didn’t want to hold myself back because of the pain, or the thought of the pain. At 6:18pm I started pushing with the urge to push so overwhelming I couldn’t hold back if I wanted to. It got really intense and really hot. I was burning up and welcomed the sips of water in between contractions. I was breathing hard (according to Gene apparently with really bad breath, sorry) and fast while in a bit of a haze. It was really hard work, and quite painful. I knew this baby was big. I chose the birthing stool since I could not handle pushing on the bed in any way. Maggie warned me that I might tear worse on the stool, but I couldn’t imagine any other way to push. When it got really close to the end my Mom was sent out of the room for something (I forget what). I let those around me know that she needed to get back NOW. There was no way she was going to miss this birth. Thankfully she didn’t.

After 14 minutes of feeling as if I was splitting in two, literally, Owen came slipping and sliding into the world at 6:32pm. When his head came popping out he was suctioned well. I immediately pushed again to get his shoulders and body out because of the meconium and his purple little face. It felt wonderful to finally hold him, after all that time waiting for him and trying so hard to get him to come. We were all saying “he” before I realized we still didn’t know for sure. We checked, and sure enough we had our baby boy. He had a bit of vernix that we lovingly rubbed into his skin as we wiped away the blood. He didn’t make any sound for a few seconds, but soon filled the air with his beautiful little cries.

At 6:36pm the cord was cut. I spent several minutes cuddling my new baby. I knew we needed to check my bleeding so Owen was passed to Gene. Soon after we got busy delivering the placenta and examining the amount of blood I was losing. It wasn’t as much as with Kailey, but it was still a good amount. We planned ahead of time to go ahead and have a shot of pitocin ready because of my history. We also chose to start me on methergen to help contract the uterus and control the bleeding. This was the first birth where I could get up and use the bathroom soon after without fainting. I felt great!

Once things calmed down Maggie cleared the room so that Gene and I could spend some time with our baby boy. My Mom was asked to stay behind by us since she had not yet held Owen. It was great to see them together for the first time. Once she got her time with her newest grandson she left Gene and I alone with Owen. Of course Owen didn’t have a name yet, and wouldn’t for a few days, but that didn’t matter to us. He was a precious little baby boy that we had sacrificed much for during the pregnancy. At 7:10pm he started nursing. I had forgotten how wonderful breastfeeding was. Owen seemed to know just what to do. It was beautiful!

Now for the not so fun part…. When Maggie checked for tearing she was not happy with what she found, and neither was I. I had a third degree tear that would require stitches. She just hoped it wasn’t worse than she thought and end up being a 4th degree tear inside. I knew I had tore as I was pushing since I pushed Owen out quickly, but I didn’t think it would be that bad. This is when the fifth lady outside of my family arrived and offered a very vital service to me and my family. Judy (she’s the one who assisted at my other two births) was at a church function in town that night. Mary Ann offered to go pick her up if she was willing to do the stitches for us. Judy was happy to help and (with our permission) announced to everyone at the annual church chili cook-off that I had given birth to a healthy 9lb 15oz, 22 inch baby boy.

When Judy arrived she started in on the stitches. Maggie had all of the supplies to clean, numb, and stitch me up ready and waiting for her. I had a lot of people there interested in seeing how it was done, so it felt like perenium stitching 101. LOL! Obviously they got my permission to watch first, but it was kind of funny at the time. Without Judy’s help I would have had to go to the hospital. I will forever be grateful to her for her help.

Once the stitches were in place and my bleeding in control we were able to all settle down and get ready for the night ahead. I got Owen back and was able to cuddle and nurse him some more. Those first few hours and days following his birth were magical. Kailey called him baby Owen right away, even though we hadn’t chosen a name yet. She doted over him and wanted to be near him as much as possible. Daniel just called him “baby brother” and mostly ignored him. My Dad was able to spend some time with Owen before he had to go back home as well. Gene and I managed to agree on the name Owen Zachariah two days after the birth. The name fits him well.

There’s not much I would change about my birth experience. I had the most wonderful people there tending to me and my family. I felt that we all did the best we could with birthing a large baby at home. Perhaps next time I’ll try to find a better position to help reduce tearing. Either way, Owen’s birth will forever be a wonderful memory for me, my family, and my friends.

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I’m going to do something different with this birth story and continue it by looking back. Much of the experience happened before active labor began, so I’m going to quote myself using portions of my comments that were made in one of my online groups. This should give you an idea of what my early labor was like before active labor actually started.

September 30th - “I had a good prenatal just now. I met Angie, the assistant Maggie has chosen for my birth. I really like her. She will be going out of town for a period of time, so we have Judy as a back-up if I go into labor when Angie is gone. I'm comfortable with that plan, so that's one less thing to worry about. I'm measuring 37cm, which is quite large for me. We checked my charts with Daniel, I didn't measure 37cm until my 39th week, I'm only 36 weeks now. We think this is a good size baby from my measurements and from feeling the baby and its position. As usual, the baby is posterior. I seem to carry all of my babies that way. Fortunately I wasn't disappointed during the internal. The baby is at 0 station, I'm a "roomy" 3cm dilated and 50% effaced. I'm so happy to hear that I'm making progress. I did the same with Daniel, but later in the pregnancy. I highly doubt I'll reach 40 weeks with this one. Especially with my plans to "help" things along by walking the hills and having my acupuncturist work on me if I make it to the 21st. Anyway, it's all been an adventure, and continues to be so. It's anyone's guess as to when this little one will arrive.”

October 5th - “I've been having a ton of those sharp cervical pains. The baby has been moving a lot more than usual, so the head feels like a battering ram. It's been like this since last night, and seems to continue this morning. If I make it to my appointment Friday Gene swears she'll tell me I'm 5cm. He's not so sure I'll make it, but I guess we'll see.....”

October 5th – “I've been having contractions every 10-15 minutes from 7am-11am. At 11am they started coming every 5-7 minutes apart. I called Maggie around 11:15am and left a message. She called soon after and asked if she should come check me. I was hesitant since I wasn't in any discomfort and remember what I did with Daniel with starting early labor only for it to go away completely. She arrived around 11:45pm and checked me. I'm 4cm and 75% effaced. She said that my cervix felt like it was in labor. Apparently there is a different feel when in labor than when not. BUT that doesn't mean I'll stay in labor. My contractions seem to have spaced out a bit more since then, so I have a feeling this isn't going to turn into active labor. Gene wants me to wait until our mothers come, so do I in some ways, but right now I feel ready to have this baby not only physically, but emotionally, which hasn't been the case recently. So far the contractions are just pressure, not even intense pressure. I'm expecting intense pressure, at least, since that's what the contractions were like with Daniel. BUT this pregnancy has been so different I'm not taking anything for granted. Maggie agrees, she wants to be updated if things seem to increase in the slightest. Today would be a good day to have this baby, but I'm not sure it's going to happen.”

October 6th – “I had contractions on and off throughout the day. Maggie checked me a second time, but there was no change. It made for a long day trying to time the contractions and guess whether I should call her or not. They would reach 5 minutes apart, which typically means active labor, but they were really weak contractions, so I was pretty sure nothing major was happening. Then again all I had was intense pressure during my contractions with Daniel, so I didn't want to assume it would be the same this time around. Anyway, this morning I wiped a bit of blood tinged discharge, so I may be in the process of passing the mucous plug. I feel a bit crampy, but no regular contractions yet. I have a feeling I'll be in "early" labor for another day or so before active labor kicks in. It's slow and frustrating, but it's better than slow and painful, like Kailey.”

October 9th – “Things look good still, and I'm still at 4cm, but a "good" 4cm, instead of "just" 4cm. I didn't think I had progressed much more since I've been taking it easy and not getting too many contractions or cervical pains. Mom flies in tomorrow night. Saturday morning I plan on doing some vigorous cleaning, and possibly walking once around the block to test out those hills and my body. I'm not sure when MIL will arrive, but even if those activities start labor it will take me a while to hit active labor, I think. We'll see what happens.....”

Oct 12th – “Today I have Mary Ann set up to do some foot zoning on me to get this labor moving along. Hopefully it'll work. She's going to do it during church today since we'll both be there. We'll miss Sunday school, but we're both hoping I'll have this baby today since tomorrow she leaves for vacation so she won't be able to help with the kids during the birth as planned. I still have help, but she really wanted to help too. Anyway, my plans are for her to do the foot zoning, take a quick nap after church, then if nothing is happening I'll call and have Maggie come over for a little cervical massage to see if that'll jump start things. Once she's done that I'll walk the hills a bit to help things along if they haven't already started moving at a good pace. If none of these things work I'll give up for the day and just assume I need to just wait and not force my body to do something it doesn't want to do, or is ready to do. Sometimes just relaxing and not caring is enough to get things going. Less stress on the body I guess.”

October 13th – “I went to church yesterday. Mary Ann did some foot zoning where I really learned a lot and found it very interesting. The swelling in my feet is almost gone, which has been a huge relief. I took a nap after church and then walked the hills once, rested for two hours, and walked the hills again. I was having contractions, but they wouldn't stay regular. Last night I felt like I had contractions all night, but I could sleep through most of them so they weren't strong enough to do anything. I've had some cramping as well. Maggie came this morning and did a cervical massage. I've been cramping and having contractions, yet again, but nothing to time yet. I'm really feeling like I'm in early labor yet again. Even Maggie said my cervix felt like it was in early labor. So, we'll see if this jumps into active labor, but I'm not keeping my hopes up.”

October 14th – “Yesterday was a long day of discomfort that produced no results. At least I don't know if I'm dilated more, could be, but I'm not in labor, so the results aren't obvious enough. My feet are swollen again. I had one glorious day of almost normal feet. Oh well! I've tried everything (even sex) to get this labor going, but the contractions never stay regular or get intense enough. Okay, not everything, I haven't done the dreaded castor oil and enema induction. I'm not that desperate yet. Ask me again if Sunday rolls around and I'm still walking around at 4+cm.”

October 15th – “I just got back from my midwife appointment. All of the discomfort the past few days have actually done a little something. I'm between 4.5-5cm (very stretchy) dilated and 75-80% effaced. I still have that in labor feel, so I guess I just stay in early labor off and on for a few weeks before active labor sets in. Maggie will come by tomorrow morning to do a little more cervical massage. We didn't do it today because she has something planned with her daughter tonight. Of course if I go on my own she'll be there, but I figured we could wait until the morning after a full night rest just in case it works this time.

I've been out this morning blowing the leaves trying to keep busy and active. It felt good to get out in the sun, even if it's windy and a bit cool. I want to wash Gene's car after my nap, so hopefully it will stay sunny and nice out.”

October 17th – “Maggie didn't come over yesterday to do the cervical massage again, but she's coming over this morning at 8:30am. Mary Ann did get back from her trip so she hopped on over for another round of foot zoning. Unfortunately it hasn't started labor, but it does make my feet feel much better and not as swollen. Mom and I went to Johnson City so I could pick up some herbs and stuff, as well as get out of town for a bit....”

October 17th – “Maggie came and did the cervical massage this morning. I feel like my crotch is falling off and having some cramping, but no regular contractions. We'll see what happens.....”

October 18th – “I ran a few errands to get out of the house and my mind off from things only to be asked when I'll have this baby every time I turned around. So much for that......

I've been wiping a bit of blood and having some sharp cervical pains, but no regular contractions. I'm tempted to skip church tomorrow so I don't have to deal with the looks and comments and "advice" on how to get things going. My tolerance for just about everything has come to an all time low.”

October 20th – “I have a good feeling about today, but not getting my hopes up. If nothing happens today, then I have an acupuncture appointment tomorrow. She seemed confident that she could get things going, but I'm convinced now that all of these tricks only work if the body and baby are ready in a healthy pregnancy. I just have a hard time believing that with Daniel I was in labor two weeks after I was 4cm, that would have been yesterday for me, though I would have thought it would have been earlier since this is my third term pregnancy. Oh well! I've been having contractions on and off for weeks now. Last night I woke a few times with some good contractions, but nothing regular. I just have not been in enough discomfort during the contractions for me to pay much attention to them. Apparently my body's thinking the same thing.

It was a long day at church yesterday, just as I thought it would be. I came home and took a nice long nap. We played cards before bed and I slept pretty good last night. I feel more rested today than I have in a while. We'll see what today brings.....”

October 21st – “I have my acupuncture appointment this morning at 10am. This is my last "try" to get labor going. After this, it's coming on its own. We'll just have to deal with the lack of help after the baby is born if that's what it comes to. We were hoping for at least two weeks of help, but Mom and Donna leave the first week of November. We'll just have to take things a day at a time.”

October 22nd – “I was sure hoping to have this baby by now. Gene's birthday is Friday, the 24th, Kailey's is Saturday the 25th. Gene's sister and two boys will be here Friday morning some time (they'll leave the same afternoon), my Dad arrives first thing Friday morning since he'll take off driving Thursday and drive straight through (if he can). My Aunt Nat will also show up late Friday, but we probably won't see her until early Saturday since she'll stay in a hotel. One of the worst things that could happen is me trying to have this baby with a house full of people. Way too chaotic with shuffling cars around and trying to keep the kids and company calm out in the living room. I really want to have this baby today or tomorrow. Obviously the acupuncture didn't work right away, but seems to be consistent in that within a few days after a treatment the pregnant woman goes into labor. I was hoping for hours, not days, instead. Oh well! I'm going to call Maggie and ask about trying some Blue Cohosh, or a Blue and Black Cohosh mix. I still don't want to do the castor oil and enema induction since I had a really hard labor with Kailey following one and don't want to repeat that experience. If the herbs will jump start these contractions and keep them going, that's probably all my body needs. If my body just isn't ready, it's just not going to accept anything "mild" I do to it to encourage labor.”

October 22nd – “I had a lengthy conversation with Maggie this morning and opted to do the induction today. After weighing the pros and cons I decided I needed the help of our mothers more than I needed to wait for my labor to start on its own. I chugged the castor oil and herbal "drink", then just had the enema about an hour ago. NOT fun! I thought I'd get on here quickly before I started walking around and drinking water to help the contractions along. Maggie said she has never had a mother not go into labor within 12 hours using this method. I know it worked with Kailey when I had no signs of labor at all, so it should work with me again, this being my third term pregnancy and already halfway dilated. Hopefully we'll have a baby announcement some time this evening. Usually with a mother who has had a few babies it kicks in well before the 12 hours (like 3-6 hours), so we'll see what happens......”

October 23rd – “Should have known I'd be the exception to the rule. My body or this baby just is not ready to get things going. I had a long day yesterday with regular contractions and labor signs galore (menstrual-like aches and pains from the bottom of the belly clear around the back), but the contractions would never get intense enough to do much good (I could feel a lot of pressure and each contraction had a peek, but I could walk and talk through them easily), even at 5 minutes apart most of the day. Maggie checked me at 8:30pm and found that I had only dilated to a full 5cm and effaced a "bit" more to 85% from 80%. Needless to say, I was a bit upset but just smiled and said it must not be time yet. I've tried everything I can now to get things going. I'm just going to have to wait it out and deal with the lack of help. Maybe the baby will come on its due date on Sunday. One can only hope..... I had a bit of a crying spell this morning after my shower. All of the pressures of the business, finances, and this baby just seemed too overwhelming for me. I can't control any of these things, so I've been dealing with it all in stride. It just builds up after a while when there doesn't seem to be a break in sight and it's been a year or more of constant stress factors. Anyway, I don't mean to complain. We are blessed with a lot, and for that I'm thankful.”

October 24th – “Kailey was surprised to learn that her birthday was tomorrow. She's too funny. We asked her when the baby's birthday would be and she said in 10 days. We all asked if she could choose a day a bit closer. LOL! She's excited for her birthday and keeps asking when she will meet the baby. Needless to say, she has a lot of excitement going on.”

October 25th – “Gene had a great birthday yesterday, so he says. He didn't expect anything and he got several good gifts, a birthday cookie, and ice cream. Gene and I went out for a movie and dinner solo, which was nice. We watched Radio (great movie) and ate at the new Bob Evans, followed by another last ditch effort to get this labor going (as one lady told him, "stirring the pot"). Nothing yet, so I guess I stay pregnant yet another day.”

October 26th – “I stayed home from church today. I'm not in a very social mood and didn't want to hear the usual remarks. I didn't sleep well last night. I kept having contractions, but nothing strong enough to do anything but annoy me. My due date is today. It looks like it will come and go with no baby.... I'm up to over 176 pounds and feeling it. I'm huge and completely uncomfortable. I'm getting worried about the size of this baby. We're guessing 9 pounds or better at this point. The largest I got with Daniel was 155 pounds. I know some of the weight gain is just me, but my belly sticks out a LOT and none of the shirts or pants I wore with Daniel fit me now. The bigger this baby gets the harder the delivery will be on me.”

October 29th – “I’m insane! My Dad leaves on Friday, first thing in the morning. That gives me today and tomorrow to have this baby so he can see it. I can't believe I haven't had this baby yet. So, needless to say, I'm trying the induction again, hence my insanity. I'm about to do the castor oil, then I have an appointment with Maggie for the cervical massage (for the third time), then I'll do the enema when I get home from my appointment. I really can't believe I'm doing this again. It better work this time...... Maggie said she had never seen it not work, so hopefully the chances of it NOT working TWICE are nil. We'll see.....”

October 30th - “typing one-handed, yes, because i have a sleeping baby in my arms. the induction worked, finally. the short version: active labor started at 2:30pm, Maggie checked me when she arrived at 3:45 and i was 8cm. all of my help arrived before the birth, which happened at 6:32pm. i was right about a big baby, i pushed out a 9lb 15oz, 22 inch baby. we're still working on a name, but we were right about having a boy.”

Seth's Birth Story

It seems that with each pregnancy and birth I'm falling into a pattern. My body needs a little help going into active labor. I tend to have plenty of "early" labor where I dilate slowly for weeks, but have to get actively involved to actually go into a labor pattern that gets me to the point where I can push the baby out. I had a new midwife with this birth. She, as well as her assistant, were at Owen's birth as well. They were assisting at the time, but with the move of Maggie (my former midwife), Angie is now my new midwife and Christie is her assistant. They are a wonderful birth team and have provided me with excellent care and information during Seth's pregnancy and birthing process, as well as my postpartum period. We have come up with a theory in regards to my birth history. All of my children have been in the posterior position right up through active labor and often during the pushing stage. Apparently the shape of a woman's pelvis can affect this positioning so we decided to map my pelvis to see which position it favors in regards to late pregnancy and birth. Sure enough, I have a pelvis shape that creates an environment where the baby favors the posterior position. This posterior position often delays active labor since the baby's head is not at the ideal angle for birth, hence my weeks of early labor and eventual labor stimulation to "help" my body go into active labor. This is all a theory, but it's a good one if you ask me. It just seems to make sense and go along with my history and experience.

As with Daniel and Owen I had a lot of early labor with Seth. I had the familiar sharp cervical pains, back pains, leg pains, swelling, fatigue, and numerous other discomforts. It wasn't as bad as with Owen's pregnancy since it seemed apparent that this little one was not as large, thankfully.

My mother arrived a week before my due date of May 18, 2006. My mother-in-law, Donna, arrived a few days later, so by May 14th (Mother's Day) I was ready to have the baby. Of course it never happens that way for me, but we all hoped. I kept busy getting things ready for the birth. We were all excited about planning for another homebirth and even had my oldest, Kailey, planning to be at the birth. I was doing okay as the days passed by, but grew concerned about having another large baby. Judy (my Dr friend who stitched me up following Owen's birth) had also moved away so if I needed extensive suturing like before I would need to transport to the hospital. This was not something I wanted to do so had discussed alternative pushing positions and techniques to try and avoid tearing. The first "trick" would be to stay off the birthing stool during the final pushing stages if at all possible. I had used the stool for each of my previous births and was a bit concerned that I would want/need the position and comfort of following what I knew and end up tearing. I spent some time during the last days of the pregnancy on my hands and knees to get used to this position, and to try and encourage the baby to turn anterior since he was still in the posterior position. I never quite got comfortable with this position, but I was familiar enough with it that I felt I could do it if needed during the birth. The rest of the work to keep me from tearing was up to my midwife and her direction, so I placed my faith in her and figured we would do our best and "deal with the rest", as the saying goes....

The day after my due date I had a prenatal. We did a stress test on the baby since I was thinking I had not been feeling the baby move as much and was starting to worry. She had me drink some juice, wait 15 minutes, and then started listening to the baby through the doppler and called out every time the baby moved. If the baby's heart rate rose at least 4 beats when moving the baby "passed" the test. The baby did fine and I started noticing more and more movements throughout the day. Once the stress test was done I had my pelvis mapped (as mentioned above), and while she was at it she went ahead and stripped the membranes. When checked we found out I was 80% effaced, "soft and stretchy", and at least 4cm dilated. The stripped membranes did not start labor, but I did have regular contractions two days later on Sunday. They weren't major, just cramping, but it lasted a few hours before they stopped. I guessed that I had probably dilated a cm or two after that. I was right.

I had my usual prenatal visit on Friday, May 26th, where I found out I did dilate to 5cm during the week. During the various tests we discovered a touch of protein in my urine, as well as increased blood pressure. Both of which I've never had a problem with before. We took this as a sign that my body was under a bit more stress than usual, and since I was already past my due date we chose to stimulate labor the next day. There were also signs that the baby was getting a bit larger than we had hoped. We were all hoping for a baby less than 9 pounds to help my odds of not tearing. All of these factors, as well as the upcoming departure dates of my mother and mother-in-law played a role in our decision to stimulate labor the next morning.

I woke Saturday morning, the 27th of May, knowing that I would be inducing, or "stimulating" labor, as my midwife likes to call it. It was a well planned day, a beautiful sunny day. Perfect for a birth. I ate breakfast from 8-9am and then showered. Then came the dreaded castor oil at about 10:10am. I had a feeling that this would work because I was having bloody show and some contractions and a dull ache in my back. We chose to strip the membranes again and realized I was more like 4cm, but still stretchy. At 10:50am I took my first of seven Blue and Black Cohosh "shots" (drink). It was really nasty. Kind of like drinking tree bark. UGH! Along with the Cohosh Angie and her assistant, Christie did pressure points on my feet and hands. At around 12:30pm the castor oil kicked in. Fun! At around 1:30pm we started walking the hills in my neighborhood to help encourage the contractions. It was such a beautiful day out with the sun and slight breeze. A perfect day! When done I jumped in the shower, drank a lot of water, and had another cervical massage that produced a lot of bloody show. Nothing major was happening so Angie and Christie went for a drive and to get something to eat at around 5pm.

I called the midwife around 5:30pm to tell her the contractions started to come about every 7 minutes and that I was having more bloody show. I chose to rest and was resting when they arrived at 5:45pm. Soon after I ate my last meal before the birth to try and make sure my energy levels remained high for the upcoming labor. A little after 7pm is when I remember feeling really hot. Once that happened my contractions started getting more intense, but still not painful. At 8:50pm I was 8-9cm dilated. A little after 9pm I took my robe off. That's when I knew I'd be pushing soon. My body just can't stand material against the skin when I get towards the end of my labor. I did keep my bra on this time around, which made leaning up against the birthing ball a bit more comfortable. I could feel my body react to a strong pushing sensation building up a bit more with each contraction. I was on the bed sitting up and would lean back on my hands when the contraction would get strong and try my best to relax and let it take over. Moaning has always helped me get through the pain and discomfort of contractions. I had Angie rupture the membranes at 9:26pm (my labor always stalls at 9cm with a lip until I have the membranes ruptured) only to discover light meconium. We weren't too alarmed, but made sure we were extra careful with monitoring the baby and getting him suctioned during the birth. At about 10pm I went on my knees and leaned forward against the birthing ball on the bed. I was still at 9cm with a lip that would not push aside on its own so Angie held the anterior lip as I was pushing until I was at a full 10cm. While leaning against the ball on my knees I started feeling intense pain and discomfort for the first time during the whole labor. This always happens when I start pushing. At this point we made sure everyone was in the room who intended to be there. I think my moans reached to screaming status which alarmed my mother and mother-in-law so they rushed back into the room with Kailey, who wanted to be there for the birth. I vaguely remember Gene and Angie behind me and Christie near where the rest of my family watched and waited for the baby to come. They didn't have to wait long.

I was gripping the birthing ball and leaning against it hard as I partially hung off from it as I dug one hand into the bed during the final contractions of my labor. As my screams got louder I thought my voice would give out on me. I kept thinking that I was scaring my poor unborn baby but could not stop vocalizing during the intense sensations that gripped my body and eventually pushed the baby's head out at 10:15pm. As promised, my midwife worked hard to help me not tear by coaching and counter pressure, so even though I felt out of control, I managed to follow her direction. We would soon find out if our hopes were realized. Once the baby's head was out Angie stopped instructing me to push and told me to flip to my back quickly. My first thought was "HOW! I have a head sticking out of me!" But I instinctually moved my body so that I was on my back within seconds after she told me to. She was working on adjusting the baby's position (his shoulders were a bit jammed) and then told me to push as hard as I could to get the baby out. At 10:16pm Seth Leland was born and placed into my arms.

As Seth was rubbed down and he cried out all of my pain was gone and I was left with this tiny infant who showed me once again that I am strong and capable of miracles. I remember Kailey talking loudly as she asked her innocent questions during the final moments of the birth and after the birth. We all laughed at her words spoken in awe and wonder. Our mother's once again witnessed the birth of their grandchild and felt honored to be a part of the experience. Christie worked right along side of Angie in her quiet manner, both of which work seamlessly together as a perfect pair. It was all so wonderful. Gene did his best to comfort me and be an active participant of his child's birth. He is always amazed at how "easy" I make birth look, even though he knows it's not easy on me at all. I think he's a bit proud of me in that respect.

At 10:30pm I pushed the placenta out with very little effort. I was checked for tears only to be delighted to find out I had a very tiny 1 degree tear that could heal without stitches if I was good and kept my knees together as much as possible. Soon we cut the cord and Christie took the placenta to examine it in the bathroom. Kailey's curiosity brought her into the bathroom as she was taught about the placenta and what all of the parts were called and what they were for. Christie and Kailey made placenta prints and had a wonderful time together. It was great! During their examination of the placenta they found that it was complete and that the cord was 33" long. Apparently that's a long cord.

Once I was cleaned up a bit I started nursing Seth at 10:53pm. It was so sweet to see him latch on rather quickly and nurse so vigorously right away. Those first few moments with a newborn are always so special. Once he was done Angie and Christie started the newborn exam. Seth weighed 8lbs 14oz and was 21 inches long. I broke Angie's streak of delivering babies who were all over 9lbs. She was thrilled. It was fun watching the exam and all of the tidbits of information they shared with us. Seth was in good spirits during the exam and seemed to sleep through most of it. Once the exam was through they focused on me again and asked me to go to the bathroom and empty my bladder. When I got up I felt fine, but I have a history of fainting after the birth once I get up out of bed. This time was no exception. I did manage to make it to the bathroom and go, but when I sat there I started to feel that familiar rushing feeling right before I faint. I warned them and then the next thing I remember I was staring up at the toilet. Apparently I fainted and they laid me right down next to the toilet. I recovered quickly and was brought back to the bed. Once I was thoroughly checked out and seemed to be able to move around without feeling faint, Gene and I were left alone to spend some quiet moments with our new baby. By 3:00pm Angie and Christie left our home.

The days following the birth were filled with meeting the demands of a newborn, introducing him to his siblings, and trying hard to rest, eat, and hydrate. Two days later, that Monday, I was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance. We still don't know exactly what it was, but I had these spells where I felt faint but would not faint. It progressively got worse until I felt it lying down, but felt it so strongly it was as if I was being pushed into the bed and to the floor. Kind of like when you're taking off in a plane or being pulled up quickly on a thrill ride. Angie advised us to call 911 and be transported to the hospital. Long story short, all of my vitals were fine and showed nothing abnormal. I knew that I needed rest, but was having trouble sleeping. I could not shut off my brain and sleep. I was so exhausted I felt as if I would pass out from the exhaustion but never did. We tried everything and I was starting to worry that I wouldn't get better. Later in the week I decided to stop trying to sleep and just read, or do something to get my head out of the situation. That seemed to be the trick. From there I started sleeping and then venturing out of our room and then became more active with my family to a full recovery.

On a side note, I have a lot of people to thank for their help during my trip to the ER. I don't want to share names, but would like to mention how vital my local La Leche League group was in helping my mother and mother-in-law take care of Seth in such a way that would not harm our breastfeeding relationship. My milk had not come in yet and we were still working on his latch. My friends in La Leche League managed to teach my mothers how to use a syringe during feeding times. Christie also offered to breastfeed Seth for me and pump some milk. I can't say how grateful I was for that during such a time. Once at the hospital Gene was by my side, and then Angie showed up and stayed until I was discharged. We all worked as a team, it was wonderful! Even though it was all a bit scary, I think we did well.